Living Shadows

Downtown Apalachicola (Photos by Colin Hackley)

By Delbert H. Rhodes


Could you be me?

The past plays a very important role in our lives. Some say, forget the past it is gone; it exists no more. I say, the past lives with us every day, every moment. We feel it in our consciousness; we hear it in our thoughts; and it watches from the darkness, we relive it in our dreams.

Without a past how then do we have a present, and what would bear our future. Dare we permit past experiences to overwhelm, control, dominate; should we dwell only on the things we DREAD, LOVE… NO?  We must never forfeit the memories dear to us; those we protect those we shelter; these solidify us, make us whole, and LIKE IT OR NOT.

My childhood begins normally, but then something happens. I uncover something terrible, something hurtful.

Copyright © 2011 Delbert H. Rhodes

8 thoughts on “Living Shadows

  1. ssofdv: never feel that you write too much. Like you, I too enjoy writing, and sometimes the flow seems endless.

    Please: Without fully analyzing, expressing your thoughts, how then can thinking be complete (ed)?


    I am fortunate to have the opportunity, love sharing your words/thoughts.

    I am more than happy to read and blessed in LISTENING.

    A Thought.


  2. Yes, I could be you.

    One can never forget the past – at least – not entirely. There will always be memories, and something to bring forward those we try to push backward. The past may have shaped who we are, and yet, we still have the power of choice. We can allow anger and bitterness to duplicate and prolong the pain, or we can embrace the agony – and live “in spite of” its ever presence.

    Yes, the past is a very important role player – yet, we can travel towards the sun – or wallow in the mire. The past carves out the road, but we – individuals – have the ability to choose our destinations.

    We will always have voices, visions, memories, demons – heaven and hell fighting for our souls. However, it is what we dwell on the most that controls, dominates, and carves out our daily existence.

    In our struggles, we are wrestling for the right to feel “whole” – by what and whose standards though? We lament that we want to be “normal,” but who is to say that our very existence isn’t “normal?” The way I see it is this, I am normal according to my personal definition of normality.

    The world cannot dictate what “normal” is for me – it is too dysfunctional. According to what I have lived through – I am “normal” as far as the outcome and the results of my exposures. So for me, I try not to waste precious time looking back – although many times it cannot be helped. I define my own “normal” and move on. Life is too short and precious to waste.

    I have learned to press on towards the high calling of Christ, and my own personal dreams and goals. My personal motto is, “IN SPITE OF.” I may not always feel great, physically, mentally, spiritually, etc. But I take advantage of the times when I do.

    When the dark shadows creep over me, and I am at a lost that day to fight – I give in – but just for a little while. I renew my strength by allowing the darkness to teach me things about the past – truth – which I now embrace.

    Since I cannot make the past go away, I’ve made peace with it.

    Anyway, didn’t mean to write a book. You know how Writers are.

    Don’t let the demons win! Reach for your destination.

    Peace to all


    1. Yes, you are absolutely correct, we do have a choice and must never choose to walk in darkness. We must learn to embrace resolve “in spite of,” the horrors we have suffered. Life is ever changing and people must be in accord, if they (we) are to prosper. Victims of violence, of abuse are hard pressed to seek, to welcome resolve to TRUST.

      Where are the avenues victims can walk? Who are the people, the institutions the abused should seek? Why would they care (to)? After-all a person is/was the source of the violence the abuse, the hurt. How then do victims learn to look away from the evil they have lived the hatred with which they sleep, the torment the suffrage? “The past carves out the road, but we-individuals-have the ability to choose our destinations.” The answer lies here, as ever it does, CHOICE.


      1. No neither you nor I or any could “make the past go away,” but and you well know, we can choose to engage. Depending on one’s outlook determines the resources for help. Prayer always is a wonderful place to start. If we permit ourselves to be lead by a higher power, there would be aid, “When the dark shadows creep over me.” We are shown a vision invisible to the ordinary eye, but poised brilliantly in crystalline light to the blessed.

        NO: The demons MUST not win, cannot be permitted dominance, but bow to the goodness of GRACE.

        Yes, WE will reach our destination; TOGETHER, and with others in the fight, we will be VICTORIOUS.



  3. Thanks, man. This lady has been through Hell, and needs to realize that everybody does not hate her; that somebody respects and would love her.

    The horror she, and others like her, has faced has destroyed her, personally; forever locked her behind invisible though-seemingly-impenetrable walls.

    To her credit she has stepped up to the plate and is swinging the bat, the outfield is an expanse, but she intends to end with a “home run.”

    We (all who oppose cruelty-of any type) must share her struggle; must cheer her from the stands as she rounds the bases… to HOME PLATE.

    Glad you’re here Kedge


    1. Hi, though it may be terribly difficult, you must never lose heart or hope; you must always believe that “I can do it, I will do it.” Yes, the snake often rears its ugly head, and as horrific as its countenance may be, we must NEVER permit the power of its presence or the passions of its desires to dominate; we MUST determine to win.

      captivatingbitter, YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT; YOU ARE GOING TO WIN.

      Move forward, never forever be pushed aside, and never backwards.




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